A truly loving husband will seek to listen to his wife as she relays her burdens.
A man who truly loves his wife will be a man who labors diligently to provide for his wife. The loving husband will be a hard-working husband. He will work as many jobs as might be necessary in order to provide for his wife. Being a provider is something to which a loving husband must be committed. One of the things that has not often been pointed out about Proverbs 31 is that it actually tells us quite a number of things about the godly husband—and does not speak merely about the godly wife.
The godly husband is sitting at the gates of the city—as a leader in the community. He is working diligently for his wife and children. But, he is also doing something at the city gates. He is praising his wife for all of her qualities to the other leaders in the city. It almost goes without saying that a loving husband will be affectionate with his wife.
This certainly includes spending time alone with her. However, life in this selfish and fallen world necessitates such a command. A godly husband should commit to nurturing intimacy and affection with his wife. A godly husband will talk often and openly with his wife. He will be transparent with her about finances, activities, and struggles. Surely, a measure of propriety and wisdom is needed when seeking to approach the issue of personal struggles with lust.
As a rule, however, a man who wants to truly love and serve his wife will be a man who is open and honest with her. It is only through union with Jesus—in his death and resurrection—that you will ever be able to begin to love and care for your wife in these ways. When we fail and we will most certainly fail , we go back to the Lord in brokenness and contrition. We confess our sin to him and ask him for grace to grow in these areas. This is further supported by what God said through the prophet Malachi:. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his.
And why one?
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Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. Malachi It is not just children he wants but godly children. He wants children who are holy and driven to see the kingdom of God advance. Physical issues keep some from having children. For others, God simply never called for them to marry. Having children should be considered as a way of obeying God and building his kingdom. Therefore, we should pray about it and plan for it as we do with any ministry.
God blessed them and said to them… fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground. After telling Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, God told them to subdue and rule over the earth.
They were to be co-rulers over his creation and to be stewards of it. This is expanded in the New Testament as marriage is described as a spiritual gift given to build up the body of Christ and to advance his kingdom. Consider what Paul said in 1 Corinthians Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me--a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
The Message. Here Paul taught that marriage is a spiritual gift, just as singleness is. Certainly, each couple will have unique gifts and a unique way God has called them to build his kingdom. One couple may excel in worship, another in teaching, another in hospitality, another in missions, etc. Each couple must discern the way God has uniquely called them to build his kingdom. God has put an innate desire in mankind for intimate companionship. This is why so many single people, though they have family and friends, covet something more and often have bouts of loneliness.
God made man to be married to a woman and woman to a man. Certainly some in the world have the gift of singleness, a very special gift given to allow for a deeper devotion to God and his work cf.
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Jesus and Paul. But, with that said, this gift is not for everyone. God wants most people to have a mate: someone to fellowship with, to dream with, to serve with, and to be heirs of life together with. It is a beautiful experience and a great gift. Solomon gave several reasons that companionship is good. Ecclesiastes says:.
2. Psalm 1:1-3
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Biblical Roots of Marriage
Though these apply to any companionship, they most definitely apply to marriage. He said that two are better than one because of the productivity of their work. Many couples have seen themselves more productive in finishing school, working in business, growing in the Lord, doing ministry, etc.
Solomon also said that a companion is helpful when one falls down because a friend can help him up. Life has many ups, downs, discouragements, trials, and even mountain-top experiences. However, many times there are more downs than ups. When a marriage is working properly, it will help navigate the trials and discouragements of life.
A good spouse will speak words of encouragement and faith to her mate, enabling him to get up when he has fallen down. She will make him strong when he is weak and vice versa. Sadly, marriages that are not functioning properly will actually wear one another down instead of building one another up. Be careful to never speak words of discouragement over your spouse.
Do you practice speaking words of faith and encouragement over your mate to help build them up? Marriage also has many other practical benefits such as keeping oneself warm and providing for daily needs, but one of the greatest benefits is protection. Solomon said two can defend themselves Ecc This is especially important in a Christian marriage because of the attacks of the enemy in spiritual warfare. Satan realizes the tremendous potential in every marriage, and consequently, he always attacks them.
Expect warfare in marriage. Satan will do everything he can to keep a couple out of the Word of God, out of prayer, away from commitment to the church, and fighting with one another. He does this because he realizes that two people unified and on fire for the kingdom of God can do incrementally more than one. Therefore, it is important for couples to use their spiritual weapons to protect one another. These weapons are praying over one another daily, consistent Bible reading, speaking the Word of God over one another, commitment in serving the body of Christ, and having accountability with other Christians.
Have you given thought to the increased warfare that will happen in the marriage union? Many find themselves overpowered in marriage for lack of understanding the nature of their new warfare.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. After God made a woman for Adam, he said that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. This means that in marriage, a couple is starting a new family unit. Their priority must now be their marriage.